Most safety pages are a list of reassurances. This one is a list of facts, including the uncomfortable ones, because a promise you cannot check is worth nothing on the night you need it.
Each of these is a rule the database keeps, not a policy somebody wrote down. They hold whether or not anybody is at a desk.
Any digit is refused before a message is stored, and so are an address with an @ and a dotted domain, an @handle, and eight named apps — WhatsApp, Telegram, Snapchat, Instagram, Messenger, Skype, Viber, WeChat. It is a pattern match, not an understanding: “at gmail dot com”, a handle written without the @, and Signal, Discord and Facebook all go through, and a spelled-out number is only caught in English and Hindi. A message arriving is not a sign anybody checked it.
A report goes to the house in writing, and the person reported is never told. A block ends the thread and the person you blocked can never lift it — though the house can. One caveat worth knowing: most listings here are run by the house rather than by an account the woman signs into, so on those she cannot report or block anybody herself.
Every thread on the site is readable by the house. That is a moderation power, and it is also a limit on how private chat here is — both halves are stated on purpose.
A signed-out visitor and every search engine are shown no photograph at all — not a blurred one, not a thumbnail. A man who has signed in sees a blurred copy: whole-image, made on the server, never the clear file with a blur painted over it. It clears only with an active membership or when the house opens photographs for that account by hand. Two things we would rather say than hide: the blurred copies sit in a public bucket, so the site does not hand out their addresses but anybody who already has one can still fetch it; and the daily email carries blurred thumbnails on links that need no sign-in.
There is no checkout anywhere in it and no card is stored. Every payment is settled by hand, off the site.
Every profile page is noindex, nofollow, noarchive and nosnippet, so a listing does not become a search result that outlives it.
Most dating sites let you assume all of this. We would rather you knew, because what you assume changes how carefully you behave.
No ID, no passport, no Aadhaar, no selfie match, no background check. Anybody registering here must state an age of 18 or over, and nothing checks whether it is true. Men carried over from the old site have no age on file at all, because that site never had the field. Where a listing shows VERIFIED it means somebody here looked at a photograph or rang a number — it is not an identity check and it is not a match against any document.
The only automated check on a message is for contact details. Tone, pressure, threats and abuse are found by a person, after somebody reports them.
No emergency contact, no location sharing, no check-in, no way for this site to call anybody on your behalf. If you are in danger, this site is not the thing that helps.
Suspending an account stops it being used and stops it being signed into — the session ends there and then, and the login is refused after that. What it does not do is stop the same person registering again with another address. We can stop an account. We cannot reliably stop a person, and no site that tells you otherwise is being straight with you.
A person reads reports. Nobody is on duty around the clock, no alert goes anywhere, and we would rather say so than print a number we cannot keep. Every report is kept and stays counted for the house until somebody closes it.
Not yet. Closing an account is done by asking, by hand. Nothing on the site does it for you, and no page here pretends otherwise.
Short, because there are only a few, and because a rule nobody can remember is not a rule.
None of this is specific to us. It is the advice that actually works, and we would rather print it plainly than sell you a feature instead.
What is decided by a machine, what is decided by a person, and what nobody here can do at all.
What it does, what it does not do, and what the other person is told. Which is nothing.
The technical half. Written so somebody who knows what they are reading can check it.