SAFETY

WHAT WE DO, AND WHAT WE DO NOT.

Most safety pages are a list of reassurances. This one is a list of facts, including the uncomfortable ones, because a promise you cannot check is worth nothing on the night you need it.

WHAT IS REAL

Each of these is a rule the database keeps, not a policy somebody wrote down. They hold whether or not anybody is at a desk.

Obvious contact details are refused in chat

Any digit is refused before a message is stored, and so are an address with an @ and a dotted domain, an @handle, and eight named apps — WhatsApp, Telegram, Snapchat, Instagram, Messenger, Skype, Viber, WeChat. It is a pattern match, not an understanding: “at gmail dot com”, a handle written without the @, and Signal, Discord and Facebook all go through, and a spelled-out number is only caught in English and Hindi. A message arriving is not a sign anybody checked it.

You can report or stop a conversation

A report goes to the house in writing, and the person reported is never told. A block ends the thread and the person you blocked can never lift it — though the house can. One caveat worth knowing: most listings here are run by the house rather than by an account the woman signs into, so on those she cannot report or block anybody herself.

The house can read any conversation

Every thread on the site is readable by the house. That is a moderation power, and it is also a limit on how private chat here is — both halves are stated on purpose.

No photograph is shown to anybody the house has not opened them for

On the site, a signed-out visitor and a signed-in member without access are shown no photograph at all — not a blurred one, not a thumbnail. Two things we would rather say than hide: until 7 August 2026 a blurred copy of every listing was served publicly, and those files can still be fetched by anyone who kept one of those addresses; and the daily email still carries blurred thumbnails on links that need no sign-in.

Nothing on this site can charge you

There is no checkout anywhere in it and no card is stored. Every payment is settled by hand, off the site.

Profiles are kept out of search engines

Every profile page is noindex, nofollow, noarchive and nosnippet, so a listing does not become a search result that outlives it.

WHAT WE DO NOT HAVE

Most dating sites let you assume all of this. We would rather you knew, because what you assume changes how carefully you behave.

Nobody’s identity is verified

No ID, no passport, no Aadhaar, no selfie match, no background check. Anybody registering here must state an age of 18 or over, and nothing checks whether it is true. Members carried over from the old site have no age on file at all, because that site never had the field. Where a listing shows VERIFIED it means somebody here looked at a photograph or rang a number — it is not an identity check and it is not a match against any document.

Nothing reads your messages for abuse

The only automated check on a message is for contact details. Tone, pressure, threats and abuse are found by a person, after somebody reports them.

There is no panic button

No emergency contact, no location sharing, no check-in, no way for this site to call anybody on your behalf. If you are in danger, this site is not the thing that helps.

A suspended person can make a new account

Suspending an account stops it being used, but it does not sign the person out and it does not stop them registering again with another address. We can stop an account. We cannot reliably stop a person, and no site that tells you otherwise is being straight with you.

No response time is promised

A person reads reports. Nobody is on duty around the clock, no alert goes anywhere, and we would rather say so than print a number we cannot keep. Every report is kept and stays counted for the house until somebody closes it.

You cannot close your account yourself

Not yet. Closing an account is done by asking, by hand. Nothing on the site does it for you, and no page here pretends otherwise.

THE DETAIL.

If you are in danger, contact the police. Nothing on this site can reach anybody on your behalf.